I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
I don't usually arrange sex via text message
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
