exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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