Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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