i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
