made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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