it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Randomize
