we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
No...this little piggys going to the bar
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
