Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
