dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
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