I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
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