You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
