69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
then he tried to convert me to islam
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Randomize
