I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
