I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
