yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize
