I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
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