we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
