Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
