im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
She opened a beer bottle with her armpit and then gave me a cigarette from the waistband of her underwear. I dont know if I want to be her or marry her.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
