My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
