He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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