About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
