Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
