you guys were way drunker than both of me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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