i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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