Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
