It's like God shit irony all over that family
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
