Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
