he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize
