somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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