I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
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