This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
Randomize
