k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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