I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I need to sanitize my soul.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
