she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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