my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
