It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
Randomize
