when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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