I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Just pee around me
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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