Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
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