i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
