My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
