If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
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