You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Randomize
