Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
