I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
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