for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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