Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
