kristin has been a bad kristin
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
