she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
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