where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
