The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
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