New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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